Maybe it sounds violent. So what? Human nature is violent. Feeling is violent. This rush within us is violent. Then why color it sweet like nasty people (such as myself) love doing? Let Rev. Maynard J. Keenan do the talking...

05
Jerk-Off

Someone told me once
that there's a right and wrong,
and that punishment
would come to those
who dare to cross the line.

But it must not be true
for jerk-offs like you.
Maybe it takes longer to catch a total asshole.
but I'm tired of waiting.
Maybe it's just bullshit and I should play GOD,
and shoot you myself.*
Because I'm tired of waiting.

Consequences dictate
our course of action
and it doesn't matter what's right.
It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD
and shoot you myself.*
I'm very tired of waiting.

I should
kick you,
beat you,
fuck you,
and then shoot you in your fucking head.*

just opened up the champagne I had bought for my new year party which never happened. Just drank a whole glass of it. My eyes started to close ... but I'm still standing.
Not for long.... *WHAM*
damn
I hope I dont follow the trail of drunkeness... I need her soooo bad... what the f*** am I saying anyway
good night. morning.

Crave


GOT THE RIGHT HOUSE
BUT THE WRONG ADDRESS
I SHOULD HAVE MY HEAD EXAMINED
I FINALLY FOUND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
A KISS AND GERM WARFARE
I SIPHONED GASOLINE

YOUR EYES, YOUR EARS, YOUR MOUTH, YOUR NOSE
YOUR ARMS, YOUR LEGS, YOUR HEART, YOUR SOUL
TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME
MY BODY CRAVES YOUR TOUCH

A SNAPSHOT OF YOU
TUCKED IN MY SHOE
SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR FROM YOU
I'M SITTING AT THE BACK OF THE BUS
I PICTURE YOU DRIVING
YOUR REARVIEW MIRROR EYES

YOUR EYES, YOUR EARS, YOUR MOUTH, YOUR NOSE
YOUR ARMS, YOUR LEGS, YOUR HEART, YOUR SOUL
TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME
MY BODY CRAVES YOUR TOUCH

I CRAVE YOU

A PRISONER
I'M THE WARDEN TOO
NOTHIN' WORSE THAN SELF MADE MISERY
IF MOSES TRULY PARTED THE SEA
THEN CAN I QUIT SMOKING
MY MIRACLES RUN WEAK, YES THEY DO

YOUR EYES, YOUR EARS, YOUR MOUTH, YOUR NOSE
YOUR ARMS, YOUR LEGS, YOUR HEART, YOUR SOUL
TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME
MY BODY CRAVES YOUR TOUCH

why do I feel like crying while I listen to sean lennon singing "into the sun" at 5:15 in the morning of this very day? is it because of the lyrics of this romantic song? or is it because I just feel like my life will always become this stupid void over and over again?
I can't stand this shit man. There's always got to be something really shitty with my love life. It's never simple.
Now that I found this girl that is so much like that ideal girl, with those qualities that I've been learning painfully not to compare my "girlfriends" with, through the years... I just can't be with her RIGHT NOW and that hurts me a lot, and really messes my head.
And well, as predicted, the more I get involved, the more obsessed I get, the more I'm prone to beg and ask of her so much more than I should.
Damn it....
I always decide to write a journal when I'm depressed.
She's all I need... she likes me so much.... I need her to love me, does she love me? DOES SHE? I never heard her say something like that. All I get is "I really like you". We're already more than friends. We need each other. We miss each other. We dont play freaking games with each other (or do we?), we're good friends... we know each other and enjoy each other's qualities! What else does it take to be love? What else? Does she still love him? Does she still think of him when she thinks of love? Will she take me in her hands and smash me to the wall when she realizes the power she has over me? Because I love her...

Will she do everyting she can to come and see me?

Is that a game? I don't know the rules. I suck at games. Sports.

I hate this. Will I see her NOW? can't I faint and dream of her forever?