The only thing I need... kiss my disease... and make it all better
Clean me when I bleed... justify me... make words of my scattered letters

Won't you kiss my disease...

Random thought. Fashion, clothes, accessories... I was watching some old video and thinking about how those things get outdated and I kinda realized something. Analyzing the clothes from the semiotics point of view, every piece of cloth is a symbol, a statement, a code. That code depends on a context to be decoded, it depends on history and culture to be understood completely.
Colors, cuts, etc. Each thing has a meaning, depending on its context. If someone wears some accessory, they intend to show something, to state something to the others around them. Those people who will interpret that statement, live in a certain context, and will base their interpretations on what they've lived and seen so far in their lives.
Therefore, whenever you look back at the way people got dressed at some point in the past, it's useless to judge those symbols without studying the context in which they were worn. A color may have some kind of meaning today, but if you weren't born 20 years ago, how can you know what that same color meant back then without researching?
I might just go and study fashion and design now. Watch out, stylists everywhere.

Finally the endless argument with my brother is coming to an end. After much struggling and mind-bending I finally came to a positive conclusion: he is a terrible middle-man, but it's not intentional, it's just the way he is. He interprets things too much - and too wrongly - when he has to pass a message.
Tiago, his band's drummer, is the one who decides things for the band, and today I realized how right that is. See, I was arguing with my brother about the site and everything, because I saw him as the band's leader, when he definitely isn't, for obvious reasons.
He was defending me when he talked to Ti, and defending him when talking to me, acting like we were fighting or something, instead of trying to solve the problem. My brother prefers to settle things, instead of talking them out... that makes me feel in advantage for having the "we can work it out" mentality that I have, it's worth it.
Anyways, I realized that nobody's been ungrateful, it was only Rod's way of saying things that made me feel that. And that I'm not working alone here. damn it feels good... (no pun intended)

Orange blogger. Cute.
My brother sucks ass.
My site rocks. Period.
I'm not obnoxious but I know my stuff.
What an asshole.
I work for free and do all these things to maybe get some recognition and some friendship and all I get is bullshit.
Fuck them all.
Fuck teenagehood. And its confusion. Fuck it. I dont have to take this kind of shit and I wont.
I feel like I hate every fucking person alive right now. Including myself. Damn fucking life. Every choice is like a shot in the hand.

Soon

A dream will come
to make you smile
as I sit staring
for a while
at your beauty
as you sleep

I watch as lips
draw loving sighs
that lighten up
the gloomy night
paint with stars
the sky for me

I hold your hand
and whisper vows
and pray that you
don't wake up now
do not fade out
beneath the moon

Yet one more dream
has come - but now
You lie awake
with eyes low down
you're leaving lady
oh so soon!

I'm going back to cali!
No man, I don't think so...