Today I'm lazy. Thus, here goes a song which reflects my current state of mind. Enjoy! And keep away from sharp objects!

everything reminds me of her (Elliot Smith)

i never really had a problem because of leaving
but everything reminds me of her this evening

so if i seem a little out of it, sorry
but why should i lie?
everything reminds me of her

the spin of the earth impaled a silhouette of the sun on the steeple
and i gotta hear the same sermon all the time now from you people
why are you staring into outer space crying
just because you came across it and lost it

everything reminds me of her

Listening to: Fu Manchu - Hotdoggin

Now that I've met you
would you object to
never seeing each other again
cause I can't afford to
climb aboard you
no one's got that much ego to spend


So don't work your stuff
because I've got troubles enough
no, don't pick on me
when one act of kindness could be
deathly
deathly
definitely

I wonder what will happen... I still love the girl.
I'm really trying to be positive about it when I think of the subject, but I just have no idea what she's thinking or doing right now.
Wish it was me... wish she felt sorry for risking losing the one who loves her... it's the only hope I have.
I just know that in the end I'll be alone and will only remember all the unbelievable moments that we spent together for the rest of my life. And just wonder why I was so unlucky as to lose her.
I can't stand this... she's my match, I'm her match, why can't we be together? Why. That's all that's in my head. I feel so sad, so much like I've lost something so important in my life. The very idea of becoming just friends with her torments my brain sooooo much.

Listening to: Headstrong - Adriana

I'm putting a guestbook here, I wonder if anyone is reading this lol. Well, if someone is taking the time, hey welcome... :oP

Today was a pretty damn good day. I drove an automatic transmission car for the first time. And most surprisingly, it was my dad's car. I thought I'd never drive his car in my life... dad had never been with me in a car I was driving.
Well, today he informed me that I would be driving us (me, him and my brothers) to the restaurant where we were going to have dinner. I was like, did I hear that right? Yeah I did. He sat on the backseat! He trusted me his car!!! I'm so so so satisfied with that gesture. I'm also so happy that he seems to know that trusting me is important, and he realized that he's never been in a car driven by me before.
I've been living with my brothers so so much, I guess these vacations were the ones where we spent most time together, which is really cool. I feel so at home with them lately. My brother's kinda tough to deal with, always finding something to get mad at. But he does listen to me and I realize sometimes I kinda overreact. He is a really cool boy and I really admire lots of things about him.
Stubborn, but really nice, caring, smart, passionate. He really trusts his gut feelings all the time. That is good from one side, but it does make him a bit too prejudice at times. I try to show him that....

Well, it seems everybody's doing a list of things they love and things they hate, so I decided to write my own nandhoo-likes-dislikes-list. Here it goes:

This rocks nando's world:
Romantism (the artistic period), sensitive people, Newsradio (the TV series), open-mindness, romance (the love thing), Rock N Roll (music and attitude), friendly dogs, equality, Maynard James Keenan, honesty, smell of rain, Freud, Ancient History, museums, respect, girls that tell me I'm sweet.

This pisses nando off:
Stubbornness, narrow-mindedness, cats, selfishness, male chauvinism, reality shows, media-fed-brained people, anchovi, my dad's wife, stepping on s**t, indifference, pop attitude, New Age, people who are too loud in museums, disrespect, people who think I'm stuck-up cause I like expressing myself in english.

Listening to: Sevendust - Live Again

Yesterday I woke up and it was raining real hard. I felt sad. Must've been because I felt what was coming... I spent the day before yesterday scratching my head and getting pissed, just couldn't figure out why I was so pissed. Well, answers did come after the rain. But then, at what cost...
Being pissed, I wanted answers. I was tired of not saying what I wanted for fear of pushing her to the wall, but I was feeling so pushed myself that I couldn't stand it anymore. Maybe it was me pushing myself, with this obsession for going steady, but all I know is that I called her yesterday. And I talked to her. And I told her I needed to tell her these things and I couldn't go on anymore without getting answers.
And I got my answers. And now I can't go on anymore.
I feel like I got dumped, but everything's too confusing, so I guess it's easier to just believe it's all over. I think it really is. And why do you ask? because everything was going too well.
She says she has been with her b/f for way too long, and breaking up with him was really tough, and she did it because he was being extremely asking of her, and she couldn't take his pressure anymore. And the way things were going with us, we'd be going steady real soon - in fact, she said we are probably steady right now, just not giving names to it.
Well, question no. 1 answered.
Why have I been pissed for the last few days? Well. She has been avoiding talking to me "like lovers do" and I couldn't get exactly what was happening... besides, she was really not being clear on why she wasn't able to come visit me. Well, I suppose she was already with this fear of hers.
She's terrified of going steady, and now she's terrified that we might already be steady, and she'll be stuck to me, and to all the bad things that happened to her before.
I said let's slow down, let's not be steady, anything... and she needs time... she needs more time... and I'm going so insane with this stuff
and right now I just feel like everything's lost
like all of this feeling I've been having, this feeling of being love, like it's all gonna vanish soon
and I know that she won't be sorry because she's certain she's right

and she doesn't wanna hurt me
too bad.

wonder if there's anything to do other than feeling sleepy tonight.